A step backward or forward?

So, a couple or so Sundays have passed by without me going to church. I have survived. Mind you, they have been during Covid 19 Level 4 lockdown so there haven't been any services anyway. 

My mind constantly takes me back to some of the things that caused me to leave the church I attended. While I would like to state openly what they were I have chosen not too. They were not illegal, as far as New Zealand's legal system is concerned, but were morally wrong. The case could be made, that the things that were done could well have been Gods way of going about things, but I doubt it. Using that reasoning is what has got Christianity into the mess that it is today.

I watched, one day, the leaders of a denomination and a congregation, inter-acting with the members of their congregation. They sat at the 'Top Table' and ate and spoke to us from there. My mind went back to the 1960's when young Christians wore bands on their wrists with the letters W.W.J.D. engraved on them. (What Would Jesus Do.) Can you remember those days? Would Jesus have sat separate from us? I don't think so. He would have been surrounded by us, and sharing with us; not being served separately. I'm sure Jesus' story about the Pharisees etc. sitting at the main table comes to your minds, as well as it did to mine. Snakes and vipers weren't they?

Jesus didn't operate the way Ministers and Pastors do today. Why do they believe that they are the only interpreter's of Gods word? They act as though they are privileged. They seem to forget that like us mere mortals, they are Gods servants; His hands and feet in this world.

I have even witnessed Ministers asking their congregation for items that those in the congregation cannot afford to buy for themselves. Humble? No! Sad? Yes!

Lord, I pray for the humility that I need to carry out your work in this world. I know I have let you down many, many times in the past, but now I trust that I have learned to look to you as you stand beside me and protect me, because you are my fortress, my safe place, my God, and I trust you. 

A Lost Pilgrim

Once again I find myself lost in the Christian world. Surely this should not be! We're repeatedly told that the Christian community is like a family, we are all brothers or sisters. I like the idea, in some ways, but we have all experienced family times when it's not all love and kindness haven't we?

I am taking a break from the church community I have belonged to for the past 9 years. I doubt I will return. I have just deleted a long rant that I was going to publish about my reasons for leaving etc. but have decided to put 'my big boy pants on' and not go there.

Here in New Zealand, the Methodist Church of New Zealand publishes a monthly 'newspaper' named Touchstone. The August 2021 edition contained an article written by Rev. Geraldine Coats in which she states that she has decided to no longer refer to herself as a Christian minister. Instead she has decided to call herself a follower of Jesus. She advises that she was led to this decision, in part, by some of Christianity's decisions which have destroyed her vision of a God of grace and love.

After my experiences over the years, and I'm on the cusp of 76, I find myself in agreement with Geraldine. I have witnessed bullying, bribery, back-stabbing, lying and abuse. Geraldine's God of grace and love has been notably absent on many occasions. However (and there is always a but isn't there?) there are some good people attending Christian churches who believe themselves to be Christians, and possibly are followers of Jesus. I pray that their attempts to follow Jesus in their congregations are successful.

As for me? Well I continue my pilgrimage. Currently I am at peace with myself as I undertake my given task of loving my wife as she recovers from a stroke and the thrombectomy that removed a clot from her brain.

I will try and be a follower of Jesus.